Majora’s Mask ruined normal games for me

My 12 year old brain had a hard time with Majora’s Mask. I still remember opening up the Christmas gift and seeing a new GameCube along with the Zelda: Collector’s Edition. I was filled with that kind of excitement you can only really have at that age- pure and total happiness, even if I had never played a Zelda game before.

I loved games, but they scared me

I was a sensitive kid. A lot of things would scare me- I can still remember Gruntilda’s ogre underling in Banjo Kazooie giving me dread, keeping me from leaving the starting area for far too long. I remember having nightmares about dinosaurs dying from Star Fox 64. But these were nothing compared to the love-hate relationship I would form with Majora’s Mask.

The game is downright demonic in a lot of ways. The promise of adventure as a young elfish hero in a fantasy land was a gateway into discovering a land and people on the precipice of a horrible doomsday. The trope of exploring dungeons was presented as clearing out corruption- sick and twisted minds being bent under the influence of a Mask that preyed on vulnerability and fear. I could relate to the Skull Kid as much as I could Link. Loners from the forest who answered a calling big enough that they would not leave unscathed.

A cycle of fear and excitement

I would wake up excited to get to play again after school- imagining what new transformative masks I might unlock, and planning out strategies to finally clear out a dungeon before the doomsday timer ran out. And I would spend many nights suddenly fear-struck, images of dead zoras on the beach and the angry moon running through my mind obsessively. Just like the game had a countdown, so too did I- dreading the moments of lying in bed unable to escape the evil in the game.

This was one of the first times I remember being really frustrated with the way my mind worked. By day I loved the game, by night I feared it- fine. But my obsession with games and my anxious/avoidant disposition meant I was trapped in a spiral, twisting downward.

Horror games and roguelites

Years later, after my mind had done the responsible thing and grown out a lot of my prefrontal cortex, my reintroduction to horror and scary games was a completely flipped experience. I sought out what had once terrified me, sometimes because being scared can be a delight on its own.

I’m not just nostalgic for a scary game- a part of me wants to be dropped back into that dark pit again. Where so much is unknown, anything is possible, and villains are really and truly twisted. There is no escapism like going into the cave alone without a torch.

And it’s this kind of strange and at least a little sadistic relationship to the horror of Majora’s Mask that has ruined a lot of games for me as an adult. And speaking of games as an adult…

What I’m working on right now

The game I’m working on right now is inspired a lot by Majora’s Mask- it’s an exploration of identity after a fall from grace. There’s masks, a puppet master behind the scenes, and it’s set in a world gripped by dark and unfortunate circumstance.

Majora’s Mask’s time element was also no doubt a big part of my fascination with roguelites- repeating the same days slowly building up enough knowledge to be able to push past obstacles thought impossible. But my next project won’t be a roguelite. It’s an RPG- allowing me to focus on fleshing out a world and characters without being bound to roguelite game mechanics.

In that same Zelda: Collector’s Edition, I also received Ocarina of Time. But while I really enjoyed OoT, it couldn’t grab me in the same way. Maybe it couldn’t compete with Majora’s Mask’s worldbuilding and high-stakes storytelling. Maybe I was just really gripped by the power to transform and take new forms.

Or maybe it’s because I was just a bit messed up, even then.